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Like when haven’t I thought about giving up one life?
But, there was only really once.
This is the story about how I ended up going to my number 3 school. After crying, deciding not to go to college.
I fell in love with my number one school during my junior year in high school. From the minute I got off the bus during an open house, I knew that was the place I wanted to go to for the next four years. When I decided to apply, my high school’s guidance counselor said that they offered a free ride to a student from our school. I was ecstatic. Imagine not having to pay a private school’s tuition, room and board, and textbooks. I knew no one from my class wanted to go there, so everyone said I was a shoe-in. The worst part is, I believed it.
All my acceptance letters kept pouring in. I made the decision of where I wanted to go quickly. I waited patiently to learn if I had gotten the full ride. It never came.
I decided to pay the guidance counselor a visit, but she was too busy. I just wanted to ask if she had heard anything, but like 60% of our class who had not applied to any colleges were overcrowding the little office in an effort to get their name on the college acceptance bulletin board.
Then I got the news. On my 18th birthday. That I, Lily, who had dreamed of Number 1 school for two years, did not get the free ride.
I’m a bit of a drama queen. And often cry and mope around if I don’t get my way. I declared: I QUIT. I didn’t want to go to any other school. I liked school number one. It was far away enough for me to get away from my family, not many people from my high school went there, but it was still close enough for me to come home for holidays or if I got home sick. I was not having this “look at other schools”… because really, I only applied to them in case I didn’t get in to Number 1.
My mom wasn’t having it. She went on and on about buying postage for a bunch of schools and that I should at least attend a school in the city and try again next year. But I didn’t listen.
All my friends were deciding where they were going to go. I was moping. And attempting not to hate the girl who got the free ride. But the little mean girl in me couldn’t help it. I hated her. I felt she took something from me. And I wasn’t going to be happy.
I was forced to make a list of schools I would consider attending. And I ruled out 5 of the remaining 7. My reasons?: “Everyone from high school goes there”, or that’s a very Christian school mom, I won’t be able to wear shorts to dinner”.
That left schools Number 2 and Number 3.
Number 2 was an all girls school. And that was it’s first strike. And the only Pro I had for it was “I could take classes at an Ivy League if I go there”… but then they wanted me to fill out a million and five forms on how much money my non-custodial parent made (AKA my dad) and I voted them out. Why? Because if I put that info, I would get $0 for financial aid. And no other school asked for that.
Number 3 was a school in Wisconsin. Strike one. Small. Pro. Small town. Strike two. Everything was within walking distance, Planned Parenthood, Walgreens, tattoo shops, Walgreens. PRO. It was one of the safest cities in America. This won it a Pro from my family. It was far away from home, but close enough where I could come home. Pro. The Greyhound staion was two blocks away from campus. Pro. The only other strike I had against it was that it wasn’t Number 1.
I still had it in my head that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. And I’d just start working somewhere make some cash, and then make it big as a no-talent [insert here] - because I really had no Plan B for not adhering to Plan A. Considering I made Plan A when I was still in middle school.
School Number 3 called me after I went on their school tour. The person on the other side of the phone was just trying to get me to go to her school. I explained to her that I really didn’t want to go to school anymore. I just went because I was forced to look at other schools. She asked why. I was dumbfounded. I was confused as to why some complete stranger wanted to know why I suddenly didn’t want to get a college education. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, because it may sound stupid to her. She insisted.
She agreed it was a shitty situation, but that it should stop me from doing something I always dreamed of. I guess I agreed.
I realized I was being stupid. So what if school Number 1 didn’t want to give me a full ride, there were 7 another schools that wanted me. I decided I was going to go to school Number 3. A school I had applied to just to see if I could get in to. I didn’t get a free ride. But I basically didn’t pay anything, even after I lost most of my merit based scholarships.
In retrospect, it wasn’t the end of the world. And I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for being stupid.
Thirty Days of Truth
3 comments:
I'm glad you didn't give up. ....kinda like with this here 30 days of truth. Holy fuck, day 26, ALREADY?????????????
;-)
Everything in retrospect doesn't seem as important as it did at the time. Even if it was your number three, you still got a pretty sweet deal :)
I gave zero thought to the financial aspects of it - a fact I am now dealing with. But aside from the free ride, I had a similar situation. I wanted Northwestern. I did a summer program there, and I was in love with it. I had spent the bulk of my high school career pinning my hopes on that. It was the only school that outright rejected me (I was also waitlisted and THEN rejected by another school) but I didn't WANT those schools. I didn't really even know anything about them. I just applied because everyone said you had to apply to other schools.
It's funny how dramatic all of that seemed at the time. Even now, as I gear up for graduate school, I haven't honestly thought about my undergrad process in years. This is the first time I've thought about it in forever.
Some sort of "this too shall pass" lesson should maybe emerge? Not sure.
I'm glad it all worked out for you though. :)
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