An open letter to the student population ... on Dress Code

Listen,

I understand that you want to look hot or whatever, but there is no need to look like Ke$ha at school. I mean, listen, we’re all here to learn, not get a man. And although that may have been true a few decades ago, it really isn’t the case now.

I also don’t want to cramp your style. You could look nice and all. Don’t get me wrong. I also don’t want you to think that you should come to class in your pajamas (because then I would also be poking fun at you)… but come to class looking respectable. Don’t come looking like a tramp, ho, scallywag, whatever, [insert insult here].

There is a time and place to look trampy. I think a place of higher education isn’t that place. Would you like to see your doctor dressed in a hooker’s outfit? Personally, I know I wouldn’t.

But here’s the thing. You can choose not to take this advice. You can dress however you want. Because in the end, I’m not there, at your house, to dress you. Maybe you think showing off your ass at 9 am is acceptable. Okay… if you say so. But, don’t get mad when people 1) criticize you, 2) check you out, or 3) look at you. You’re a grown up, and people will judge your decisions. Yes, even on something as stupid as how short your skirt is.

I don't think that you should come in a three piece suit every day. But there's a way to look nice and presentable without having to be dressed to the nines. And look, you can look nice with tattered jeans, you just have to figure out how to do it.

“Well, we have the right to wear whatever we want”. While, this is true, somewhat… in some weird way, still doesn’t mean that being half naked is acceptable or right. I want to come to school in a bathing suit when it’s 110 degrees out, but I’ll get some stares that maybe I don’t want.

I'm also not saying that I'm a excellent dresser. I'm known for not dressing appropriately for the weather. However, I still manage to come out of my house looking nice and not trashy.

While the main points were really focused on girls, I should really address the guys too. I understand that the guys also think that because Lil Wayne gets away with showing off his boxers that they can too. No, it's not hot that you're showing me your boxers when I'm behind you on the escalator. I've seen school security stop many guys to tell them to pull their pants up. I applaud them for knocking some sense into the male population. Buy a belt. know that if you can't move in your jeans, you should buy a size bigger.

Another point, that, maybe applies more to girls than to guys: dress for your size. Like, if you're on the bigger size, don't dress in something that is not flattering to your body. There are clothes that fits well one some body types, and others that just don't. I think that this is probably the most important piece of advice I was ever given and now I'm passing it on: JUST BECAUSE IT ZIPS, DOESN'T MEAN IT FITS.

I know that everyone wants to be trendy. That's nice. But trendy isn't going to really cut it in that accountant job you're in school for. Ultimately, the bottom line is, you should learn to dress for the occasion and location. School isn’t a black tie event, nor is it a Playboy photo shoot.

Happiest day of my life.... and Day 28

I've been waiting to hear from my school if I was going to be able to graduate in May. I applied way back in December, and had overheard people say that they had been approved and applied near the deadline. Naturally, I began to think that I wasn't approved and went on a mission to find out. 

Last Thursday, I asked my advisor who directed me to the Registrar's Office, but assured me that she didn't think the Registrar's had sent out letters. 

Not being content with that answer, I went to the Registrar's the day midterm grades were due (Tuesday). It was full of professors trying to turn in grades. I'm pretty sure the people at the office didn't really want to deal with students. The person who attended me sent me to the Advising Office. 

This was probably the most helpful of all. The two women I spoke to told me that the Registrar's handles everything dealing with graduation, but that if I was really in need of knowing the Student Services' Office could give me a better idea. But, they also assured me that letters hadn't gone out. 

I'm impatient, so for the hell of it, I went to Student Services. The receptionist there doesn't really like me. This goes back to my financial aid debacle, but that's another story... She said they don't handle anything dealing with graduation (which is a lie, they distribute tickets, grad announcements and stole and cords), and that I had to call the regional offices. 

I called, and the person who answered told me that's the Registrar's job. 

I basically went on a wild goose chase. My plan was to go back on Thursday to find out what was up, and quite possibly yelling at them for making me go all over the place. But, today, I this:

Best birthday present ever. 

******

Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

If I got pregnant right now…. What would I do?

Keep it.

There was a time that I didn’t want kids. At all. They just disgusted me for some reason. But after most of my friends started having them, I began warming up to the idea that a little baby would be a good idea.

If I were to take a pee-pee test and it came back positive, I’d be happy. I don’t think I would even think twice about keeping it.

And if the person who got me pregnant isn’t ready, that’s cool. I can maintain.

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

30DOT: Day 26

(26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

******

Like when haven’t I thought about giving up one life?

But, there was only really once.

This is the story about how I ended up going to my number 3 school. After crying, deciding not to go to college.

I fell in love with my number one school during my junior year in high school. From the minute I got off the bus during an open house, I knew that was the place I wanted to go to for the next four years. When I decided to apply, my high school’s guidance counselor said that they offered a free ride to a student from our school. I was ecstatic. Imagine not having to pay a private school’s tuition, room and board, and textbooks. I knew no one from my class wanted to go there, so everyone said I was a shoe-in. The worst part is, I believed it.

All my acceptance letters kept pouring in. I made the decision of where I wanted to go quickly. I waited patiently to learn if I had gotten the full ride. It never came.

I decided to pay the guidance counselor a visit, but she was too busy. I just wanted to ask if she had heard anything, but like 60% of our class who had not applied to any colleges were overcrowding the little office in an effort to get their name on the college acceptance bulletin board.

Then I got the news. On my 18th birthday. That I, Lily, who had dreamed of Number 1 school for two years, did not get the free ride.

I’m a bit of a drama queen. And often cry and mope around if I don’t get my way. I declared: I QUIT. I didn’t want to go to any other school. I liked school number one. It was far away enough for me to get away from my family, not many people from my high school went there, but it was still close enough for me to come home for holidays or if I got home sick. I was not having this “look at other schools”… because really, I only applied to them in case I didn’t get in to Number 1.

My mom wasn’t having it. She went on and on about buying postage for a bunch of schools and that I should at least attend a school in the city and try again next year. But I didn’t listen.
All my friends were deciding where they were going to go. I was moping. And attempting not to hate the girl who got the free ride. But the little mean girl in me couldn’t help it. I hated her. I felt she took something from me. And I wasn’t going to be happy.

I was forced to make a list of schools I would consider attending. And I ruled out 5 of the remaining 7. My reasons?: “Everyone from high school goes there”, or that’s a very Christian school mom, I won’t be able to wear shorts to dinner”.

That left schools Number 2 and Number 3.

Number 2 was an all girls school. And that was it’s first strike. And the only Pro I had for it was “I could take classes at an Ivy League if I go there”… but then they wanted me to fill out a million and five forms on how much money my non-custodial parent made (AKA my dad) and I voted them out. Why? Because if I put that info, I would get $0 for financial aid. And no other school asked for that.

Number 3 was a school in Wisconsin. Strike one. Small. Pro. Small town. Strike two. Everything was within walking distance, Planned Parenthood, Walgreens, tattoo shops, Walgreens. PRO. It was one of the safest cities in America. This won it a Pro from my family. It was far away from home, but close enough where I could come home. Pro. The Greyhound staion was two blocks away from campus. Pro. The only other strike I had against it was that it wasn’t Number 1.

I still had it in my head that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. And I’d just start working somewhere make some cash, and then make it big as a no-talent [insert here] - because I really had no Plan B for not adhering to Plan A. Considering I made Plan A when I was still in middle school.

School Number 3 called me after I went on their school tour. The person on the other side of the phone was just trying to get me to go to her school. I explained to her that I really didn’t want to go to school anymore. I just went because I was forced to look at other schools. She asked why. I was dumbfounded. I was confused as to why some complete stranger wanted to know why I suddenly didn’t want to get a college education. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, because it may sound stupid to her. She insisted.

She agreed it was a shitty situation, but that it should stop me from doing something I always dreamed of. I guess I agreed.

I realized I was being stupid. So what if school Number 1 didn’t want to give me a full ride, there were 7 another schools that wanted me. I decided I was going to go to school Number 3. A school I had applied to just to see if I could get in to. I didn’t get a free ride. But I basically didn’t pay anything, even after I lost most of my merit based scholarships.

In retrospect, it wasn’t the end of the world. And I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for being stupid.

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.