Real issues: Domestic Violence

This past weekend, I experienced something I hope I never have to witness again. It was my little nephew’s first birthday. While that was all fun and exciting (there was an Elmo shaped piñata!), I never would have thought my night would end in tears. 

Ivan and I got back from the party pretty early. It was no later than 10pm when we got back to his house. I waited outside while he parked his car in his parent’s garage (they live across the street). I called my sister to tell her we had gotten home safely, and as I hung up I heard someone yell for help. I couldn’t see the person and I didn’t want to venture out to see where it was coming from. A part of my felt safe staying on the porch, but I also felt extremely guilty for not running to someone’s aid, as I would expect for myself. 

I saw Ivan coming, and I heard the screams again. They were coming from Ivan’s parent’s neighbor’s house. I couldn’t see the person who was asking for help due to the dark street and huge trees in front of each building. She managed to flag down Ivan, and he rushed over to her. I recently bought Ivan and iPhone and he doesn’t really know how to use it. He wasn’t able to dial 9-1-1 for her so he called me over. 

As I crossed the street, I noticed how bad she looked. She had scratches all over her arms, her face was starting to swell, and just tears flowing from every direction. We stayed with her while she was on the phone with the 9-1-1 and then while she called her sister. It turns out her boyfriend came in to her apartment, beat her up in front of their 11-month old, took all of her money, her car keys and her cell phone. He left her with nothing. I offered to stay with her until the police came, but she decline my offer. I kept an eye out for the police. An ambulance was sent pretty quickly, the police came 40 minutes later. 

While I looked out the window, I couldn’t stop thinking what would possess someone to beat up their girlfriend? I felt so bad for her, and for her son who had to witness his dad harming his mom. I started to cry. The whole night brought back horrible memories from my childhood. When I was little my mom and step dad would get into very heated arguments. I don't remember too many of them, mostly because I think I've chosen to block them out. The one that has always stayed with me was on one occasion that the cops were called.

I was about 7. It was the summer before 2nd grade, my step aunt was living with us and was sharing a room with me. I woke up because I heard yelling and objects falling to the ground. It wasn't until I heard glass break and my mom crying that I knew something bad was happening. My step aunt didn't let me leave the bedroom. I remember sirens and people coming in and out of our apartment. I remember my mom refusing to go to the hospital even though they told her she might have shards of glass in her eye. I remember my step dad being handcuffed and taken away, and my mom packing our bags because we were leaving then and there. Almost 20 years later, I still don't understand what happened, why it happened, or why they're still together. Maybe I never will. 

Three days after the neighbor incident, I still feel incredibly guilty for not helping sooner. Not that it would have made much of a difference - the harm was already done. 

Is reading fundamental?

I’ll never get over people being stupid. What is it that causes the stupidity? Sometimes I wonder if people were dropped on their heads….

So the new thing at work is memberships. The new system actually doesn’t like that, so we register people who have memberships manually in the system rather than it doing it automatically. When someone calls us and tells us they have a membership… we send them an email saying exactly what they need to do to register. 

Well, people don’t know how to read, or choose not to read, and they’ll call me back and ask what they need to do to register. Uh, what? Sometimes, I just want to say: You know how I know you have the reading comprehension skills of an ant? Well, because you completely missed the sentence in red, that also happens to be bold that tells you to READ THE DAMN EMAIL COMPLETELY.

I shouldn't have to read you an email I just sent. You're an adult, you can read, you can think for yourself. Once the email is in your mailbox, you should read it. In it's entirety. It's not the email is super long, it's shorter than this post. And it's divided in BULLET POINTS. 

Maybe I expect too much from adults. Maybe adults don't have time to read emails and I'm living in a world where I could only hope people follow directions. Maybe someday, all adults will follow directions and do what their told in bold read font. 

The worst Saturday ever

Want to know who had one of the shittiest weekends ever? The fact that I’m writing this on Tuesday night should give you an idea how shitty it was (and how much I needed to cool down from that). 

It all started on Friday …. My boss was on vacation, so we all knew we wouldn’t be getting paid until Saturday morning.  No biggie. The last time I spoke with my boss on Friday, he said “I’ll be in tomorrow morning to sign checks”. I postponed my social life until Saturday night.

I planned to sleep in on Saturday, but couldn’t because I desperately needed to do laundry. This was the beginning of the shitfest. While doing laundry, I broke a nail. Not like a sissy “I chipped the edge of my nail” type breaking. It bent and got detached from my finger and bled all over my clean clothes. I had to do the chore I hate most TWICE. Strike 1, Saturday.  I had McDonald’s for breakfast just to cheer me up, which it really didn’t.

I finally got my nail to stop bleeding and decided to go pick up my check. It was about 1 pm when I left the house. During the week, it takes me about 40 minutes to get to the office. On Saturday, it took me an hour and a half (I won’t give Saturday a strike for this because I knew it was going to take extra time). 

I got to the office at about 2:30 and BAM! CHECKS ARE NOT SIGNED. I waited about an hour for my boss to show up so I could get my check, and he never showed up. Granted, I only waited an hour.

However, during the hour, I had one of the best fights ever. Because you kind of need money to do anything fun, I decided I’d just go back home since I didn’t have a check. Ivan pulled out this gem “I want you to come over, but I don’t have enough gas to take you home and I don’t want you to take the bus home”, maybe because I was already mad, or maybe because that’s something along the lines of what my dad would say, I decided to say “okay, I’ll just go home because you don’t want me to come”.  Strike 2.5, Saturday.

I was already in a horrible mood going home, I just wanted to get home and sleep. But of course it was Lolla weekend so all the trains were packed. I missed my stop because apparently hipsters don’t know what “excuse me means”. On my way back, some evacuated Lolla goers were talking pretty loudly about how they got ticketed because they were attempting to buy tickets from a cop. It was pretty hilarious and had my Saturday ended there, it would have been perfect. 

I was almost home when the sky turned super black and would light up when there was lightning. I was hoping that I would make it home before it started pouring. But since I have horrible luck, the rain didn’t wait.  It was pouring and pouring, and every other second there the most horrible sounding thunder. I was four ‘L’ stops away from home and was just hoping that I could make it home before it got crappier outside. And my stupid train got stuck! In between 2 stations! During a storm! The train just kept rocking side to side. For a while I thought it was going to derail. Strike 3, Saturday.

The train finally started again, and I made it to my stop. As soon as the train doors opened, the rain came in and soaked me. YAY. I exited on the wrong side of the street, so I had to wait until there were no speeding cars to cross and took shelter in the vestibule on the other side of the street. My bus tracker app estimated the next bus would arrive in 30 minutes. So I waited with at least 10 other people. 

Well, I should have known better. 1) the app was extremely wrong, the bus came like in 10 minutes! And 2) no one in the vestibule was waiting for the bus, and also didn’t understand what “excuse me” meant. I decided to walk home. 

Well, it was still raining pretty hard. My book bag got a little wet, but everything inside survived (my laptop, a notepad and my little mobile internet thing). I thought finally, the day is looking up… yup, no, spoke too soon. On the last block of my walk was the straw the broke the camel’s back. The entire block was flooded! The worst thing about it was it looked like it was shallow. It wasn’t until I tried to run past the entire block that I realized it was about 4 inches deep. My running shoes got all wet and my Nike+ thing-a-ma-gig died. Strike 1,000,000, Saturday. 

I called my mom to have the door open for me. I walked in took off my soaking wet shoes and socks, dried my feet while crying and changed into my pajamas. I went to sleep, mad and hungry having not had eaten anything all day since my unsatisfying McDonald’s breakfast.

Funny you say that ...

For the past couple of days, I've been bringing work home with me. These have been projects with upcoming deadlines with no wiggle room. And of course, instead of getting straight to work I turned on the tv, relaxed and didn't even think of the 15 pages I have to translate (because, duh, they can wait).

Even as bedtime approaches, I have not even done half of the work I had to do, instead, I went to Google and put in "blog topic generator". And ta da look what topic it gave me:

Don't mind if I do! 

I was also the Procrastination Queen in college.

The best way to procrastinate is by being on the internet. No matter what you're doing, as long as your on the internet, you'll never get work done. Okay, sometimes that is a huge lie, but for the most part, you know you're never going to get actual work done if it doesn't involve the internet.

But, really what is making me procrastinate so much at the moment is the Olympics. God! They are so addicting! I'm not a big tv person. I watch a few tv shows here and there, but nothing religiously. But I've been glued to the tv since Friday. 

Also, I don't know why I'm so glued to the tv. I'm not that much of an Olympics person either.

Okay, maybe I should really get back to work. Mostly because since we're watching the Olympics on delay, I already know what happens.

20sb Blog Swap!: Childhood Summer Vacation

I decided to come out of blog hibernation to do a blog swap, courtesy of 20sb. Below you will find Breanna's favorite childhood vacation, my favorite childhood vacation is posted on Breanna's blog. Enjoy!

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Hello Is it too early for a martini? readers!

I'm Breanna and I blog over at Sweet Silver Lining!

Before I talk about my favorite childhood vacation, here's a little bit about me: I'm 23 and live in Minnesota. I'm a nursing student with one semester left (!) and love country music.

I love meeting new bloggers so the 20SB blog swap was perfect!

My favorite childhood vacation was when I was around 8 years old. My family and I traveled to Salem, Wisconsin (around the Kenosha area - not too far from the Illinois border). One of my mom's friends lived there with her family and had kids who were around my brother, my sister, and I's ages. 

I remember the drive taking what felt like FOREVER! It really is only about 5 hours from my hometown, but as a kid, I was pretty impatient. My siblings and I had never met the other kids before, but we clicked instantly and had so much fun! They had a huge hill for a driveway and we all went up to the top and took turns racing down on bicycles - pretty awesome. 

As a group, we took a trip to Six Flags in Gurnee, Illinois. It was my first time at an amusement park! We played a lot of games and went on a few rides - I used to get motion sick pretty easily when I was younger so a lot of the rides (and even the IMAX) weren't for me. We actually did see an IMAX movie. I think it was about wolves and I felt SO sick! 

One ride I do remember that was fun was one where we rode on an inner tube through this course with raging waterfalls and rapids. My sister was too young to go on it so my mom stayed back with her up on the bridge to watch. Well, while we were passing by, my sister wanted to get a better view of us. So she stuck her HEAD through the BARS on the BRIDGE! It was stuck temporarily until my mom got it out. That's the number one thing I remember about the trip and we still tease her about it to this day. 

Overall, it was a great trip (and one of the only real trips we took as a family). I had so much fun & came home with a lot of Looney Tune souvenirs. 

What was your favorite childhood vacation?
Hop on over to my blog and let me know

The one time I wish my coworkers knew I had a blog

Lately, I've been trying not to pull my hair out because of work. I realized that everything got so busy when my co-worker quit. This meant that during our busiest season, I started doing the work of two people. While losing my sanity isn't a big deal, being a grown up about work situations makes you look less of a whiney bitch in the grand scheme of things.

I ended up making a list of things that you should always do when you're going to quit/whine/express negative feelings towards your job. Mostly it's a list for my coworkers, but I know they'll never read it.
1) give a two weeks notice when you quit a job

Listen, it just makes you a little bit responsible. You come across as a considerate person to your current employer and set yourself up to get an awesome reference when your perspective employer calls.

This also helps prepare the hiring team look for someone new to replace you. Giving your two weeks is especially important if you share a position with someone. Like say you're the "co-class coordinator" and it's been pretty busy in the office and you see your co-worker struggling to keep her head above all the work. Don't drop the ball the Friday before you start at your new job.

No hard feelings though.

2) don't lie if you fail

I know this can be hard. Especially If you have a lot of pride. But swallow it and admit that you're not as awesome as you pretend to be. No one is going to hate you if you say that you weren't able to get someone to buy classes. No one is going to hate you if you couldn't figure out how to build a brand new website. No one is going to hate you if you couldn't fix the printer.You'll just get a different project. An easy project. But don't lie.

3) commit to your responsibilities
If you have an appointment every Friday at 12. Keep it. Unless there are more important matters pending, like you're getting emergency lifesaving surgery or you have to attend a funeral.

Or if you're given extra responsibilities, an you're supposed to start on Friday, don't avoid your boss after Friday because you forgot. That's just dumb.

Also, don't depend on someone else to remind you of your committments if they're not your personal assitant.

4) don't complain to the new people you haven't gotten a raise

This is hard. Believe me. I worked somewhere for 4 years, and I got a 25 cent raise a month before I quit (This is not the reason I quit). I feel your pain, but don't complain about it openly. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, don't tell the NEW employees that. They're going to get the wrong impression of the work place. On top of that, you're not entitled to a raise because you want one. I want to earn $1,000,000 per hour, but doesn't mean I will.

Did it ever occur that maybe you haven't gotten a raise because you're not doing an awesome job? Just saying.

5) if someone is in charge of the schedule, don't change it without notice

Ah, my favorite point. I am in charge of the master schedule. I know where everyone is at all times. Some people have access to the master calendar and change things around. Normally, it's not a big deal because I can look up the email trail and figure out why an appointment thing was changed. It becomes problematic when someone changes something and there is no email, no voicemail or no sticky note letting me know why Event A is no longer at 7:30 on Tuesdays but at 6:00. And Event B was supposed to start at 5:00 by person leading Event A.

That scenario is not too big a deal. But I've had one situation where someone rearranged their entire schedule for a MONTH without letting anyone know. WTF?

What advice would you give your coworkers if you could?

Summer Play List

Because I have nothing to blog about recently, and will write about anything my followers tell me to write about, here are the top 5 songs I will have in heavy rotation on my iTunes/iPhone/iPod this summer. Also, because we cannot let the vortex of scary janitors win!

1) Gotye - Somebody The I Used to Know

Because anybody who's anybody has will be playing this ... Right? Or is that just something that I made up in my head? Yeah, that. Most likely. I'm slightly obsessed with the song at the moment and have no idea why. Mostly because dude is kind of 1) scary looking, b) perpetually sad, and frog) is not really good looking. All qualities that are the opposite of hot guys/hot musician guys.

2) LFO - Summer Girls

It's kind of a customary thing to have this song on your summer playlist, and for the 849712034th time in a row, ta da! It's on my list. Plus, this song just brings back memories from the old days when it was okay to just hang out outside with your friends all day, planning who you wanted to share a locker with that year... ah the 90's/middler school, I miss them. Lots.

3) Pitbull - International Love

Despite my huge dislike for Chris Brown (I've disliked him way before he was a woman beater), I can't stop listenging to this song. I can never resist Pitbull rapping in Spanish.

4) LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem

I had a hard time deciding which song I would listen to more: PRA or I'm Sexy and I Know It. According to my iTunes, it will be Party Rock Anthem. But hopefully, I won't buy any glittery spandex.

5) Karmin - Crash Your Party

Because obvi. Except it's not really about crashing actual parties, it's just really catchy.

Where have I been?

Somewhere between the last time I posted and now, I got sucked in the some strange vortex that held me captive in the world of Adulthood and Responsibility. A world where you work, work, work and only check your email once a day, where you pay bills on time and balance your checkbook to make sure you haven’t overdraft your bank account. And manage to sleep for about 2 hours a day, not counting the 10 minute naps on the train.

This same vortex made most of the month of May disappear. I don’t remember ever  having a May 1st (although, I know that there is a May 1st because I paid a student loan that day), and now it’s May 23rd. 

Last Friday marked my first year as an adult. I’ve been at my big-girl job for a year. It’s been a year of ups and downs and learning to take more responsibility. I do miss not having more free time to do things like blog and drink. Or drink and blog. 

Here we are, almost June. I vow that I won’t get sucked into the Adulthood vortex. Or at least, not for so long. 

XO

A Meme - something is better than nothing, right?

So, Lor tagged me in a 11 questions meme. My answers are below. I would make 11 questions and make people answer them, but I'm being kind of lazy and not really creative. But, here are my answers:


1.) If you could change your name to anything, what would it be and why?

I always as my mom why she named me what she named me. She then goes on a whole thing about how originally she wanted to name me Barbara, but that the name was “too strong”. When I look at that name and my name, I would have to say that I am quite alright with it. So in short - all names suck compared to “Lily”.

2.) Were you ever teased in school and for what?

I wasn’t teased. I look back on being in school and feel bad because I took part in teasing.

3.) At what age was your first kiss? Tell us the story.

I was in 5th or 6th grade. All I remember it was right after cheerleader tryout, and it was with my boyfriend at the time, Santiago. There’s really nothing to tell, he kind of sucked at it.

4.) What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?

On Sunday afternoons I enjoy going thrift shopping with my little sister. It’s really fun. On some other Sundays, I like reading or watching tv, just relaxing before the weekend ends.

5.) We're all out at karaoke together. Which song do you choose to sing?

Uh, Lor, we already went karaoke-ing. I have videos to prove it. Obvi we’d sing “Barbie Girl” and any other obligatory girl song. Disney songs too.

P.S. Come back to Chicago!

6.) You are writing your memoir. What's the title?


My memoir title would be Who drank all the vodka?: The story of a girl with not enough booze. And right in the middle would be a picture of me, crying and holding an empty bottle of vodka. I also had another working title ... I think it was something like What Chu Talkin' 'Bout?: The Story of a Goober.

7.) Dean Cain and I are going to grant you whatever super power you want. What do you choose?

NOT HEART! Anything but heart. Invisibility. Yes. Invisibility.

8.) You leave the house without your cell phone in the morning. Do you go back for it?

FUCK YEAH! I would not be able to function without my phone. I’d literally die. For cereal. In fact, I’m making out with my iPhone right now.

9.) You can only watch one TV show for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?

Umm… SVU - no. HIMYM - no. Friends - no. SATC - no. I’ll go with the Simpsons. It has a little bit of everything.

10.) You can only read one book for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?

The Little Prince. I love that book so much. I’ve only ever read it in Spanish. But regardless I love it. So much that the pop-up book version of it has been on my Christmas list for the past couple of years and I still haven’t gotten it. :(

11.) What food is definitely going to be served in hell?

Twinkies. Fo sho.

Where I write a few lines for Rebecca Black

As promised, here are more questions, as well as a super bonus at the end of the post.


NUGS: If I ever trick Ryan Gosling into marrying me, what will you wear to the wedding and how many drinks will it take to get you into the closet with the the hottest groomsman?


When this happens, I think I will wear something really really skimpy. Or maybe not wear anything at all. I have a closet full of dresses, but will wear nothing to your wedding.

Also, since I don't really drink anymore, I think it would take like 2 amaretto sours to get me drunk. Which is sad. I drank an entire bottle of White Zinfandel this past weekend, and had a horrible hangover the next day. I'm really sucking at life.


Part Two- you'll still make out with me, right?


Yes. Also, remember when we told a creepy guy at the Cubby Bear that we were lesbians - who were married to each other?


Part Three - who would play you in a movie?


Salma Hayek. Because 1) she's hawt! b) I'd have to be hawt in the movie. It's like movie law. And meerkat), I can't think of any other Mexican actresses. Because you know a movie about me would have to be super accurate.

^^^ See ... LIKE TWINS!

BooyaBobby: Yeah, where can I get some bait?


Like for fishing? Or like for? Not fishing? I don't know. I've never fished before.


Dave: If you could travel back in time, where would you go?

I've always skipped this sort of question on college applications or work applications or surveys or whatever. I find many times in history very interesting and I would want to know what it was like to be there. However, I'm not really sure I'd literally want to be there. I mean, most of the times I would want to see would be times of war, and what if I died while on my time travel vacay?

Rish: Rebecca Black is writing a new song. Subject matter? 


Speaking of Mexicans, did you know Rebecca Black is Mexican?! Or like part Mexican.

Anyways ... I'm pretty sure her next song would be all about "Homework Sucks" or a power ballad about the boy whose locker is next to hers but she freezes up any time he smiles at her. I'm shooting for the power ballad.

I wish I could talk to you, 

I'm such a fooooooooool,

I freeze up when I see you, 

Locker boy just looooooove me! 

Much better than Friday. Rebecca, call me the next time you need someone to write a song. 

Get to know me, kinda, or not.

To get myself back into the blogging mode for 2012, I've enlisted some of my favorite bloggy pals to ask me some questions that I will answer below. So if you have any questions for me, you can ask them in the comments section and I will answer them later this week.

Tits: "If train a leaves Chicago going 50 mph, and train b leaves Memphis going 60 mph and train c leaves LA going 45 mph, when are you going to dance around in your underwear for a vlog?

I was never good at these sorts of math problems. In high school, I used to just draw the little diagram on the sheet of paper, the little box with rate, distance, mph ... I don't know if I ever got credit for it. But anyway .... Rate X Distance = WHENEVER YOU WANT ME TO! I did have a weekly vlog... maybe I should start that up again.

Ginny: "Will you make out with me?"

Yes. Please. Now?

Dave: How does one go about making a sentient toaster oven?

I don't think I have an answer to that. My only guess would be to have a dead person's soul go into the toaster oven. Sort of like this:

Rocket: What sucks more a leech or Ryan Seacrest?

Uh .... Ryan Seacrest. You know why? Because he brought this upon us:

Why RYAN? DO YOU HATE AMERICA? YOU MUST!

Would you rather get hit in the crotch or the boobs?

Contrary to popular belief, it does hurt when a girl is hit in the crotch. Seriously. Maybe not as much as it hurts a guy, but enough to incite some unnecesary pain. I also got hit in the boob once with a soccer ball and had a huge bruise for about 2 weeks. It turned all sorts of colors... purple, black, greenish-yellow... But to answer the question... I think I'd rather get hit in the crotch.