30 DOT: Day 16

I figured, It's been a while since I posted one of these, so maybe I should post one. Plus, I'm having trouble sleeping, and maybe this will help me go to sleep. 

We left off on day 16. 

(16) Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I guess the things one could really live without are bullshit, drama, etc, etc.  I think that the more realistic things I could really live without are headaches and migraines. 

I get them alot. 

When I was in sixth or seventh grade, I started to get really bad headaches. I never told my mom until the day it hurt to even open my eyes because the light peeking in through my bedroom's blinds would make my head hurt even more. I went to the doctor... and apparently when you have really bad headaches like this... the first that they think of is: "oh you might have a tumor in your brain". 

Luckily, I didn't (and still don't).  

I was told I might need glasses. 

I went to the eye doctor, not really digging the fact that I would be a "four eyes" and how acquiring spectacles was going to hurt my street cred. In the end, I needed glasses. I started wearing them, and they fixed my headaches, and everything worked out happily ever after. 

No. Not really. 

If anything, they made my headaches worse. Granted, the first eye doctor I went to was an idiot who didn't even send out my glasses to be made until like 2 months after my visit. So I didn't have them for like 3 months. Eye sight got worse. Then the second one I went to said I didn't need glasses. So I went a year without glasses and my headaches got to the point where they would make me throw up. And the fourth one I went to made my prescription too strong. 

I didn't know this until two years ago when I started going to a new eye doctor and she did all these cool tests including dilating my pupils. For nearly 12 years I was making my headaches worse because I wasn't given the right prescriptions for my eyes. 

But even now, with the right prescription, and knowing my eyes are super healthy... I still get headaches. And they're so awful that nine out of ten times I have a headache, I most likely have to sleep it off and not be bothered with anything, because it hurts that bad. The bad thing is, there is no known source to my headaches. 

Recently I read that Botox can help with migraines, and it's FDA approved. So maybe, if I feel adventurous one day, I will consider getting botulism injected into my face to get rid of my migraines. 

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I want some f-ing turkey

Or turkye.

For the past couple of years, we have had no turkey at the thanksgiving dinner table. What the fuck kind of shit is that?

I remember when I was a kid and my grandma would make big turkeys and would spend days getting it ready for that Thursday. And we would all get dressed up and sit around the huge table in my grandma's dining room.

But no... for about 13 years, we've had a gradual decline in bird on T-gives.

And for the last couple of years we've gotten our food from Boston Market. Like, okay, sure, we still have stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pie. But I miss when my grandma used to cook our T-gives meal.

I remember being 8 and asking my grandma if i could pour wine on the turkey. And then she said yes, and would even let me taste the wine. And after we were done with the turkey, we'd start on the stuffing and my grandma would yell at me because I was eating all the raisins.

My grandma is still able to do all this. It's not like she's crippled and I'm being insensitive. I just really want my grandma to make our traditional Thanksgiving dinner. And I'm like 1000% sure she would, too.

But somewhere, someone decided that the Alferez's would not have turkey for Thanksgiving. We'll have pot roast, or lamb, or pork, or anything but turkey.

Who ever this person is, this Alferez is pissed off at them.

Too Much "Whoa"

The one thing I like about working retail is being able to see people. I like people watching. I don't know why. Well, mostly because the mall I work at is a zoo. Almost literally. I also like that on occasion I run into people I haven't seen in a long time.

Like, yesterday.

I was at the register ringing away, when I saw someone I knew. It was my first boyfriend, Danny. It was really weird seeing him period. But it was kind of funny at the same time. A few days ago, I ran into my friend Omar on the train on my way to school. We were talking about people we haven't seen in a long time and Danny was one of the people that came up in our conversation.

I would have gone up to say hi, but I couldn't pull my self away from the register. There was a super long line and only two cashiers. A new employee and me.

As we kept ringing people, going through the line, I saw someone else I recognized. It was this girl named Jessica that I grew up with. She ended up in front of my register so I made small talk with her while I was ringing her up.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in forever" I told her.

Then she told me she didn't live in the neighborhood and that she moved somewhere else and was now married.

"No way! Who did you marry?!" I asked. Not in disbelief that she got married. But, she never struck me as a girl that would get married. Especially because when we were teens, she was more about being with as many people as possible.

"I married Daniel".

"Who?"

"Daniel." And she pointed out into the store. "Daniel L.".

"Really?"

"Yeah." And then she left.

It felt so weird. I didn't even know that they knew each other. Considering she moved out of the neighborhood when Danny and I were like in sixth grade.

Yes... I have time to stalk.

While being a good big sister, I came across my sister's Tumblr blog. I think the title of her most recent post in HILARIOUS. 

Poor Ale, she won't be able to see =W=. Show's sold out. And my dad would NOT let her go. I think Frank and I ruined her chances of ever going to a concert before she turns 18. Unless he goes as a chaperone. 

It all goes back to Frank being an asshole. When he was sixteen, his favorite band, Iron Maiden was in town. And he just had to go. The concert was on a Saturday night. And he thought that my dad wasn't going to let him go. But, my dad, being nice said, "yes, you can go". My dad even dropped him off at the venue and was going to pick him up. I don't remember what time he told my dad the concert was going to be over. So, later that night, my dad went to go pick up Frank from the concert. 

About 20 minutes later, my dad returns very worried. "I couldn't find him. Has he called? I don't know where he is."This was before we had cell phones. We didn't have them because, well, there were pay phones on every corner, and my dad believed only drug dealers had cell phones. 

He left again. 

Came back without Frank. 

My dad was getting really worried. I've never seen my dad like this. Frank hadn't called, there was no way to get in touch with him... and it's not like anyone would really be able to give my dad information on him at the venue. I think he was ready to call the cops to send a search party. But he decided to go one more time. 

While my dad was gone looking for him, Frank walked into my grandmother's apartment... LIKE NOTHING. He had taken a cab home after meeting the band and getting autographs. He didn't even think twice about calling my dad and saying "hey, dad, I'm still here.... don't be worried". 

When my dad got back, he yelled at Frank so loud that it woke up Ale. She was about 1. And we were all never allowed to go to a concert. 

******

As a high school graduation gift, one of my BFF's, Adriana, decided to buy tickets to the All-American Rejects concert. 

The venue was about 10 minutes away from my dad's. So, I was like "we can just go to my dad's afterwards". After the sleepover was approved by my dad and Adriana's mom, we were off to the concert. 

We ate before leaving my dad's house. But we decided to walk the mile to the venue in the hot summer day. So by the time we got there, we had burned all the calories we took in. I was also parched. So... hungry and thirsty... not a good combo in a super packed concert hall. 

By the time the All-American Rejects were on (they were the headliners) - I felt like I was going to pass out. I was really thirsty. I was soaked in my own sweat, plus the sweat of others. I turned around to tell Adriana I was going to step out into the atrium and buy something to drink... but as I was telling her, I felt super dizzy and ended up fainting in the middle of a mob of people. 

Once people saw that there was an opening closer to the stage, they started moving forward. I remember hearing "MOVE THE FUCK BACK!"

When I opened my eyes, I was in front of the stage being carried by a security guard who was asking my what drugs I was on. "I'm not on any drugs sir... unless you count my birth control as a drug"... He took me to the paramedic station. And the real embarrassment comes in.

Apparently, when you faint during a concert, people assume you're on drugs, drunk, gotten raped, etc. I was 18 at the time, so I wasn't drunk. Because I didn't have a fake [ID]. I don't know if it was the venue owner or manager or whatever... but he was down at the paramedic station and he started bombarding me with questions: "what were you drinking, what were you smoking, how old are you, who are you here with?" Uh... Nothing, nothing, 18, my friend Adriana who is still in the crowd probably worrying that I'm dead. 

He didn't believe me that I was 18. He asked me for my ID and I gave it to him. He looked at me. And said "this is fake". I wanted to laugh, but I just wanted water. Like badly. And possibly an Advil or 5. "Sir, if I were going to get a fake ID, I would get one to say I'm 21, not 18". He still didn't believe me. "call your parents". 

I didn't want to call my dad. He'd probably kill me if he knew I fainted at a concert. So my next logical step was to call Frank. He has the same name as my dad (he's a Jr.) so it would work out. So my brother was nice enough not to be an asshole and confirmed that I was 18. And the owner guy asked for him to pick me up and then he walked away, but he gave me a water bottle and a slice of pizza before he left and told me to feel better. 

The paramedic cleared me to leave. I had to sign a release form that basically said I wasn't going to sue the venue. I called my dad to pick Adriana and me up. While we were waiting outside for my dad, the owner came up to us and waited until we were inside the car. Before my dad started driving, the guy told my dad, "it was nice talking to you on the phone". So I had to explain to my dad what happened. He wasn't as mad as he was when Frank decided not to call... but he was still pretty pissed. No yelling, but more disappointment because I "knew better". Didn't think it would be that bad.

I don't think Ale will be able to go to a concert until she's 21. 

Perpetual Christmas List

I think that sometimes when I'm with my friends, I just seem to talk out of my ass and say the most ridiculous things.

I cleaned out my closet and put into bags clothes that either is no longer in style or doesn't fit anymore or was something I bought impulsively that when I look at it, it makes me want to barf. I end up taking all these clothes to Mexico for my cousins. While cleaning my closet, I realized, I only own one pair of joggers/sweatpants.

What kind of a fat girl am I that I only own one pair of sweats? And I don't even wear them in public (often). Really, maybe just days I'm lazy, and only have one class, then I'll wear the sweats. But other than that, they're strictly for sleeping.

Naturally, I had to tell someone. Someone who would understand my pain. I told Sam, and she looked at me like I wasn't being serious.

"No seriously, Sam, only one pair of joggers. With sorority letters on them. What the fuck kind of fat girl am I?" I told her, while we were sharing our 9-piece nugget meal.

"Maybe you should ask for more for Christmas"

"For serious... let's start my Christmas list"

And so it was born. Somewhat. It already existed. All the items on the perpetual Christmas list are things I always wanted/always get each year. So, really it's not anything new. And, heads up.... you can get me anything on the list.

******

1) iPhone: 

I've wanted an iPhone for what feels like forever. No kidding. I pre-ordered the 3G when it came out. But due to me losing my wallet, and having to cancel my credit card, I had to cancel my pre-order too. I had gotten one for my brother for his birthday that year, and he didn't like it. So I told him he should give it to me. I said it a little too late. He sold it to someone who later, I found out, lost it at a night club. 

But we can cross this off the list, because I'm finally fucking getting my freaking iPhone. Upgrade next month, and getting the stupid phone I always wanted. I know it's going to lack somewhere. But I'm prepared for that. If all else fails, I'll just say I lost it and get a BlackBerry. 

2) The North Face fleece: 

I had a boyfriend who had one of these. Every time I would go over to his house I'd wear his North Face fleecey thing. You could say I was more in love with the fleece than I was with him. Well, really... I wasn't in love. He wasn't either. And he dumped me through a text message... on Valentine's Day.... while I was at work... 

Cross this off too... I got it for myself. I told my dad I wanted one. He went to The North Face website and he raised his eyebrow at me and said "You want me to buy you a $200 sweater?!" Uh... yeah. What's so wrong with that? They're so freaking warm, pops! 

I should have known that asking my dad for something expensive would not fly. When I was 8... or so...  the first Jordan's came out. They were white and had like black patent leather going around them. And the sole looked like it glowed in the dark but didn't. I had begged for these shoes... and my dad caved. I got them for Christmas that year, along with a popcorn tin full of toys. Mostly dolls. (My dad wanted me to be more girly. At 8, I was a tomboy... but really, what girl would not be a tomboy at 8 when she has an older brother and only boy cousins?!). 

I had them about 3 weeks, and I had destroyed them. But also... December in Chicago = snow. White shoes + snow = not good. 

Dad's expectations of the 8-year-old Lily actually taking care of shoes = too high. 

A year later, he compared my shoes to a baby wearing the same shoes. 

"Look, that baby's Jordan's are like super clean, Liliana... why weren't yours?" 

Yeah dad, that kid doesn't walk. Idiot. 

3) Uggs:

Despite almost killing myself last year while wearing these... I still want another pair. Given by the story above, you know that me and shoes are like BFF's and I destroy them. But really not destroy. But I like wearing my shoes until they're unwearable. Literally. 

Last year, I didn't buy a new pair of Uggs because they were, in my mind, wearable.

 I was walking to the train station on my way to school, all happy, listening to my iPod... glad that I only had to go to one class where I had a review for the final. I was walking along, all happy rocking out to probably Spice Girls. And then... all I remembered was seeing everything go backwards. I opened my eyes and saw the sky. 

I slipped on some ice. I got up and picked up my stuff that had fallen out of my pockets... keys, bus pass,  cell phone, ipod... My hat fell too and was about a foot away from me. My back was in pain. I fell on the corner of my math book. I had a huge bruise for a week afterwards. 

After school, I made my brother pick my up at the train station because It hurt to make any movements. I really should have gone to see a doctor... but I didn't... but I turned out fine. It turned out that my Uggs had no more traction. And well, then I threw them out. 

I'm a size 8. I'd prefer the black ones. 

4) Joggers: 

For serious. I need at least 2 more pairs. 

Update: Stupid Ass-itis Week

I don't think I went into what happened Friday and Saturday of last week.

FRIDAY: Friday nothing really went wrong. In fact it was a win day. I had pizza and cake with my favorite aunt. Hung out with my little sister.  And totally accident free.

SATURDAY: I think this is when we begin to see a pattern. I think shit just happens to me at work, or when I need to get ready for work. So first.... I discovered I have a ton of bruises on my legs from work. I think all the hopping around and hitting myself with boxes from the day I got slapped in the face by one.

We hired a bunch of people for the Holiday season... and I had to finish making name tags and cubby holes for them. Which, hey, not complaining. For my entire shift, I got to play with a label maker. And that is WIN WIN WIN.

Fail to follow.

Name tags come in little plastic bags that are stapled shut. So I was opening up this little baggy to take out the name tag. Most of the bags just would rip open. Not this one. The staple decided to come undone and it stabbed my thumb. It went like half way in.

I was in pain. Still am. This is how bad it is... IT HURTS TO TEXT.

I wouldn't really mind if my thumb were bandaged up. But the fact that my thumb didn't bleed pisses me the fuck off.

I'll never leave you.... again.

I feel like a bad mother. Yes, bad mother. Mostly because this blog is my baby and well, I've neglected it. I just didn't feel motivated to write anything. But also, I've been extremely busy lately.

My days have blurred together and it literally seems that I'm spending more time away from home and not enough time just relaxing.  I really just want to relax. Sleep for 20 hours. Watch movies and tv without having to say "oh shit, I have to fucking study now"... but luckily the semester is almost over.

The downside to that is that work will consume the rest of my life until mid-January... and then, back to that slow death called school.

******

Dear "Is it too early for a martini?",

Sorry I've been suck a fail as a writer. Seeing as that you live on my computer, you know that I have been busy writing stuff that will never appear on you, but that I have to turn in to get a grade on. I know I've been sucking at at least visiting you, and I'll try to be better. Really, I will try.

Love,
Lily <3

Stupid Ass-itis Week

I'm going to go ahead and call it what it is.

This week was just full of fail, it's not even funny.

MONDAY -  Monday is never a win. I wake up every Monday morning wishing the week would fast forward to Friday... but then realize that then Monday will be knocking on my door again. Fuck Mondays.

Not to mention how messed up it is that I have to sit in a class for 3 hours with a professor that is not that bright. So this professor made us do a course evaluation. This would be the only win I had this week. In this evaluation I told her her class sucks, and that her lectures are dry and resemble me reading the text book. WIN!

TUESDAY - Fails begin. Sam and I are really broke as of late. So during our two hour break on Tuesday we basically have nothing to do. We both had those Victoria's Secret coupons for a free panty. So we said "why not?". Okay, this was win. Because the free panty lacie thong thingy is worth 12$. So hella win! But then we got hungry.

Hungry + downtown Chicago + broke = sad and hungry Sam and Lily.

In my wallet, I found a coupon for a free McDonald's Meal. We decided to share the meal since half a meal would be better than no meal. The only problem was it could only be redeemed at McDonald's locations posted on the back of the coupon. We decided to go to the one 4 blocks from school. Well, it wasn't there. Like the address didn't exist. We had to go like half a mile away to get our free meal.

Once we got there, we ordered a 10 piece nugget meal. And wtf McDonald's you gave us a 9 piece.

WEDNESDAY - Ultimate fail. I gave myself a concussion with my straightening iron. I have a bruise on my forehead and a little burn mark.


THURSDAY - And if you thought that nothing could get worse than Wednesday .... At work, I missed a step on the ladder while getting a box from a very high shelf. I was almost off of the ladder, so it wasn't too bad of a fall, in fact, it wasn't really a fall at all. I missed the last step, and I was carrying the box in a very weird way.

When I missed that last step, the box fell towards my face. I moved my head to avoid it, but instead it smacked me straight in the face. I now have a fat lip. Seriously, it looks like someone beat me up.


And let's not get into how bad the weekend is going to be.

Ouch.

My routine in the morning is always the same:

- wake up at 5:30am
- hit snooze until 6 am
- roll around in bed until 7
- shower
- have breakfast
- straighten/curl hair
- make-up

Today, while straightening my hair I slapped my face with the extremely hot straightening iron.

This is how unaware I was/am... I didn't realize I had hit/burn myself until like 10 seconds later where I felt dizzy and my head was hurting.

My first reaction was to check if my eyebrow was still in tact. CHECK. Still have both eyebrows.

However, my head has been killing me since this morning. I'm really afraid of falling asleep tonight and not waking up. Maybe I should go see a doctor.

30 DOT: Day 14 & 15

Lately, I've just been slacking when it comes to posting on here. Mostly because of school and work. No time to do anything fun. So, maybe I'll speed up this 30 Days of Truth process and do two days at a time. 

(But not really.)

******

Day 14: A hero that has let you down.

I only really have one real hero. And she has never let me down. So to write a letter to said hero, telling her she has let me down would be a lie. And yeah. 

So Lily's hero = Not a let down (yet). 

******

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without it.

I can name many things. 

iPod, Cell phones, Computers, a bed, high heeled shoes, etc. Seriously, life without these things sucked. Especially life without high heeled shoes... trust me. I'm like 2 feet tall in a sea of girls who are 5'5 or taller. High heeled shoes were a MUST. 

But let me get a little sappy.

 I will forever have to say that Ivan is the person I cannot live without. I've tried it. It sucked. Would never want to go back to being without him.

For lack of better words... it sucked. 

No one ever made me feel the way he does. In all kinds of ways. 

I even think about it when we hit a rough patch, and we get into the most ridiculous arguments... 

A couple of weeks ago, I had a bad feeling. I've had this feeling before. And every time I've had this feeling, I ignored it and would find out that who ever I was dating was cheating on me. 

I had this feeling for a while, but I just kept ignoring it. Then one day, my friend Sam called me telling me she had a dream about my drowning and Ivan was off with another girl... and a shark was going to eat me. 

Neither of these things had anything to do with each other. But it made me ask him straight out. "Are you cheating one me?" 

I got looks of confusion and concern. Where was I getting this from... And I had no answer for him. For a while, I thought he was going to end it there, because it was obvious I was having some sort of trust issue. But in the heart to heart we had, I learned that he's in it forever. 

Excitingness... Stay tuned for wedding info. 

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself .

Biology Lab with Dr. Bradley, Parte Dos

So, again... there are more dissections. But maybe not as funny as the other ones.

A lamprey. So this freaking thing smelled horrible. It made the entire lab smell like a morgue with tens of thousands or rotting bodies. Gross. Very very gross. 

I wish I would have taken a picture of his mouth because it looked really freaking. Almost like a leech. But creepier because according to Bradley, he looked like a "soft kielbasa with a tail". 

His name was Michael. He was from the Bronx. He also had a fetish for lactating hookers. 

This was Steven. He was an aspiring opera singer. But there was no cause of death for him. 

And lastly, Groucho Sharx. 

Soak it up. Ha. Ha. Ha.