An open letter to the student population ... on Dress Code

Listen,

I understand that you want to look hot or whatever, but there is no need to look like Ke$ha at school. I mean, listen, we’re all here to learn, not get a man. And although that may have been true a few decades ago, it really isn’t the case now.

I also don’t want to cramp your style. You could look nice and all. Don’t get me wrong. I also don’t want you to think that you should come to class in your pajamas (because then I would also be poking fun at you)… but come to class looking respectable. Don’t come looking like a tramp, ho, scallywag, whatever, [insert insult here].

There is a time and place to look trampy. I think a place of higher education isn’t that place. Would you like to see your doctor dressed in a hooker’s outfit? Personally, I know I wouldn’t.

But here’s the thing. You can choose not to take this advice. You can dress however you want. Because in the end, I’m not there, at your house, to dress you. Maybe you think showing off your ass at 9 am is acceptable. Okay… if you say so. But, don’t get mad when people 1) criticize you, 2) check you out, or 3) look at you. You’re a grown up, and people will judge your decisions. Yes, even on something as stupid as how short your skirt is.

I don't think that you should come in a three piece suit every day. But there's a way to look nice and presentable without having to be dressed to the nines. And look, you can look nice with tattered jeans, you just have to figure out how to do it.

“Well, we have the right to wear whatever we want”. While, this is true, somewhat… in some weird way, still doesn’t mean that being half naked is acceptable or right. I want to come to school in a bathing suit when it’s 110 degrees out, but I’ll get some stares that maybe I don’t want.

I'm also not saying that I'm a excellent dresser. I'm known for not dressing appropriately for the weather. However, I still manage to come out of my house looking nice and not trashy.

While the main points were really focused on girls, I should really address the guys too. I understand that the guys also think that because Lil Wayne gets away with showing off his boxers that they can too. No, it's not hot that you're showing me your boxers when I'm behind you on the escalator. I've seen school security stop many guys to tell them to pull their pants up. I applaud them for knocking some sense into the male population. Buy a belt. know that if you can't move in your jeans, you should buy a size bigger.

Another point, that, maybe applies more to girls than to guys: dress for your size. Like, if you're on the bigger size, don't dress in something that is not flattering to your body. There are clothes that fits well one some body types, and others that just don't. I think that this is probably the most important piece of advice I was ever given and now I'm passing it on: JUST BECAUSE IT ZIPS, DOESN'T MEAN IT FITS.

I know that everyone wants to be trendy. That's nice. But trendy isn't going to really cut it in that accountant job you're in school for. Ultimately, the bottom line is, you should learn to dress for the occasion and location. School isn’t a black tie event, nor is it a Playboy photo shoot.

30DOT: Day 24

 (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) 

******

Dear every one of my ex-boyfriends,

All of you idiots lost the best thing you ever had. Either for being stupid, or because you thought something better would come along… and guess what, it hasn’t! Boohoo. But I’m reaping the benefits. You guys breaking up with me was the best thing to ever happen to me. SO THANK YOU VERY MUCHO, bitches!

John, I dedicate Ke$ha’s “Blind” to you. This sums up how you fucked yourself up by breaking up with me. I’m the best you would ever have. And only by seeing how many times you call me, text me and email me, I already know you’re going to miss me until the day you die. Sucks for you, homey. But I do like that you send me flowers every now and then.

Ricardo, I dedicate the Plain White T’s “Hate (I Really Don’t Like You)” to you. You may have thought that because we had a really uneventful break up that I would have nothing to say. Except I do. I really don’t like you because you ended up fucking one of my best friends. And really that’s why I really don’t like you.

Luis, I dedicate Sugarcult’s “Over” to you. I wish there would have been an easier way to break up with the cutest guy ever. But, alas there wasn’t. I never told you this, but I just hated the fact that everyone wanted you. I can’t really deal with competition. This was the real reason we broke up, not whatever half assed excuse the 12 year old me gave you.

Adam, I dedicate the Plain White T’s “Friends Don’t Let Friends Dial Drunk” to you. I guess I learned a valuable lesson from you. I mean, considering that it wasn’t a real serious thing, and we only called each other when we wanted some. But still… I, at least, was sober every time I wanted some.

I think this one is the worst one. Saul, I dedicate Keri Hilson’s “By You”. Pay close attention to Lil Kim’s verse. Here… I’ll just put it out there, because you’re so stupid you won’t even realize you’re being insulted:

“No whip, no job, no credit...

Me and you is like old timers ... forget it.

Ya game like an old book I got ... already read it. 

It's money on my mind boy and you just a headache. 

I need a man with a full package like FedEx. 

Money old like champagne in the cellar ...

You ain't treating me like an ATM teller.

 So fuck your little cheese, I got my own cheddar” 

… I’m not a gold digger, but you definitely were.

Finally, Jon …. I dedicate Katy Perry’s “Ur So Gay”. No explanation needed.

Love,
Lily

PS. Ex-boyfriends who weren’t mentioned: Don’t be offended, it’s a good thing you weren’t mentioned.

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

An almost too real letter

Dear “Best Friend”,

You know me better than anyone, so I ask you this: why, if you know it annoys me half to death, would you lie to me about anything? When you texted me to say you were going to babysit, fine, I understood. Hey, sometimes we all have things we have to do. But also, did you think that because our school is overpopulated and crowded that I wouldn’t see you on the escalator and hear you make plans with someone else? I’m not dumb, even though I act and look like I am.

So I did something I don’t usually do. I went to eat alone. My intention was to read or do some homework, but I couldn’t bring myself to be studious. I had some time to think about our friendship, and how I feel that it’s no longer working out. Over a Burrito Bowl and a margarita on the rocks, I came to realize that we’re just no longer the best of friends. I just don’t know what caused the rift.

Is it because I made a comment about your “boy toy” that you didn’t like? I knew it was going to come back around and bite me in the ass, but I said it anyway, because you wanted me to tell you what I thought about it. So I told you, that he obviously wanted a relationship and you didn’t, so you should end whatever you were doing. And he beat you to the punch, and somehow that’s my fault?

Or was it because I said that you always look for things that are out of style? Because if that’s what pissed you off, then you’re not the person I thought you were.

I guess I saw this coming. Since the moment I told you I was off the market, it’s like you wanted to sabotage what I have going on in my love life. It makes me sad, because you’re one of the best friends’ I’ve ever had … but I don’t think that I want to be friends with someone who: 1) doesn’t want me to be happy, 2) wants me to cheat on someone I love, and 3) takes cheap shots at my boyfriend.

I think it’s time for us to go on separate ways. I loved having you as a friend. But I think that we’re going in different directions. As much as I want to be supportive of what you do, I can’t. I can’t be supportive, when you’re not being supportive. It’s a two way street. Maybe I’m just tired of giving out advice that falls on deaf ears.

I took the long way home tonight. I had to think things through. It’s not the first time I would have had to cut a friend off. But it’s the first time it actually hurts. I know we don’t always agree on things, and that sometimes we’re just on different planets. But I honestly think, that, we should stay on our different planets.

It’s just better that way.

I'll never leave you.... again.

I feel like a bad mother. Yes, bad mother. Mostly because this blog is my baby and well, I've neglected it. I just didn't feel motivated to write anything. But also, I've been extremely busy lately.

My days have blurred together and it literally seems that I'm spending more time away from home and not enough time just relaxing.  I really just want to relax. Sleep for 20 hours. Watch movies and tv without having to say "oh shit, I have to fucking study now"... but luckily the semester is almost over.

The downside to that is that work will consume the rest of my life until mid-January... and then, back to that slow death called school.

******

Dear "Is it too early for a martini?",

Sorry I've been suck a fail as a writer. Seeing as that you live on my computer, you know that I have been busy writing stuff that will never appear on you, but that I have to turn in to get a grade on. I know I've been sucking at at least visiting you, and I'll try to be better. Really, I will try.

Love,
Lily <3

30DOT: Day 13

First things first... I'm part of a group of people who are writing on a blog... and we're all losing weight together. Read our journey here: Blogging Blobs

Also, Sunday is Bloggerstock and Halloween! So naturally, Bloggerstock's theme is Halloween related! So be prepared to read a bunch of scary stories.

******

30 Days of Truth: A Band or Artist that has gotten you through some tough times (write a letter).

Luckily, I'm good at writing fake letters that may or may not get read by their intended audience. Here goes:

***

Dear Scooter Ward, Sam McCandles, other members of Cold and rotating members of Cold, 

Cold was the first rock/grunge band I had heard since Nirvana. And to be honest, I never really cared for Nirvana like most other people did, and Kurt Cobain was not my hero. I first heard your Year of the Spider album in my brother's mini van on my way to school. And thought to myself ... I can see myself listening to this on my own. But I never really did. 

Then one day, out of nowhere. I got side swiped by teenage angst. I hated everything, everyone, I hated the sun, the moon, and XYZ. Except music. I went to my first official concert when I was sixteen. My brother had tickets to your concert at the Metro, here in Chicago on May 25, 2003. 

Ticket stub from my first Cold
 concert in 2003.
It's also autographed by
Scooter Ward.

I remember going into the venue not knowing what to expect. It was my first rock show and had no idea what would happen. My brother, Frank, did not want me to be in the ground level, because he thought that with all the people moshing and jumping around that I would get trampled. I remember only knowing the songs from Year of the Spider and one or two from Thirteen Ways to Bleed on Stage. I remember feeling accomplished because I called your bluff... you began playing the intro to Stupid Girl ... but then went into Goodbye Cruel World.

After the concert, Scooter and all the other band members were outside. Frank and I went over to Scooter and told Scooter it was my first show. Scooter wrapped his arms around me. And immediately knew that you guys cared about your fans. I felt like a little kid after the hug, I told Frank, Did you see that?! He hugged me! He hugged me! And for some reason, I started crying.

It wasn't until I was in college that your songs meant much more to me. After my first semester of sophomore year, I was required to withdraw, basically, I was sucking at school, and I had to take time off to reevaluate whether I wanted to be a student at that school or not. When I told my dad, he went apeshit. He made me feel like I wasn't trying, when I was. I really was. He made it seem like I was taking school as a joke, which again, I wasn't. 

The whole year I took off from expensive college, everything bad that could happen, happened. My grandmother got sick and had to have an operation, I lost friends, etc, etc. It was not a fun time for me. At all. 

I started hanging out with my brother again, because he was one of the few people who didn't make me feel like a failure. He was the only one who knew how hard it really was for me being three hours away from home, not being able to come home all the time like some of my friends could, not making the grades, not being able to stay on top of everything like I used to. 

We were in the car one day going to the mall, I decided to listen to Cold. And the song Wasted Years came on. I immediately started to cry. This song, could pretty much explain how I went from the depressed mess I was to the slightly less sad/mad at the world/myself person I am now. The lines from the chorus that really spoke to me were:

It's not hard to fail, It's not easy to win 

These lines, I felt, were exactly how I was feeling. Exactly how everyone around me was making me feel. It wasn't easy to get a C in that class... it wasn't hard to not go to class when it was 40 below 0, and you lived off campus. It wasn't easy being the person everyone always knew... but it wasn't hard to become the person they were making you feel that you were. I ended up getting those lines tattooed, because it's a reminder to me that I can do things I want to do, that I can accomplish things I set my mind to, although there are others that make me feel like I can't. 

I have never felt this way when hearing any other band. Even while writing this, I get a little emotional. I took out all my Cold cd's, my autographed poster from a concert you guys had in Champaign, IL that I wasn't able to attend,  but I got a phone call from Frank and talked to you guys for a while and could only remember one of the members of the band saying "hope you can make it next time". Sadly, I haven't been able to attend any of your recent shows. All the shows in Chicago, or even in the rest of Illinois or the ones close by in Indiana and Wisconsin have been impossible for me to get to. Then there was one you did in Appleton, WI ... and I wanted to go so bad. I was in Appleton too. But the show was the day before I was to go up to Appleton. 

Cold will always be one of my favorite bands. Whether you guys are touring and making new music or if you guys decide that making music is no longer for you. Cold has gotten me through the hardest times in my life. And I am forever indebted. 

Sincerely,

Lily A. 

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself .

Is It Worth It?

Dear _________, 

I think that what ever is going on between us should stop. Sure, the playfulness is fun and cute and whatever. But, do you really think the the emotional cheating is worth it? Do you think that it is fair to either of us, or the people we happen to be with? 

I think we're both in lulls in our respective relationships that we're looking for bits of excitement else where. Though excitement is fun, excitement should not come from outside sources. Excitement should come from within. Within the boundaries of relationships we're both in. 

I'm sure you feel the same way I do. I'm madly in love with the person I'm with. I'm sure you're madly in love with the person you're with too. I just feel I'm three steps ahead of him. And sometimes that's scary. Sometimes I feel he's five steps ahead of me, and that's even scarier. I don't know why this is happening, and I don't know what's happening with you and your partner. 

It's not that I don't think you're cute/attractive/fun/funny/interesting ... it's that I think you're all those things and more. But I don't think it's fair for anyone. Maybe it's true that when you're in a relationship, you really can't make new friends of the opposite sex. And maybe friendships with members of the opposite sex change when you enter a romantic relationship. 

Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe I should never open my big mouth and say stuff. Maybe it's no one's fault. Maybe I'm just a bad girlfriend. And a bad friend. Maybe I'm just a fail. 

Sincerely. 

To whom it may concern:

Dear Sleep Gods, 


Who is in charge of my sleep schedule? 


I like that I can choose my own bedtime now, but seriously being up for 12+ hours is not fun. You may think it's fun to watch me toss and turn in my bed for hours, but I don't think it's particularly funny. I would like to be able to sleep more than 5 hours a day. 


If I got at least 6 hours of sleep per day, I think I would be able to function better. I would not fall asleep during my first class of the day. I would also probably have done enough to make me tired enough to fall asleep earlier. 


Do you think I need a new bed? New mattress pad? Or maybe all the aromatherapy crap isn't working? What a waste. 


But seriously, do you think that maybe tomorrow night, or sometime this week, you would let me have a good night's rest. I would really appreciate it. 


Love, 
Lily 

******

Plus day six of 30: 

6) Something you hope you never have to do.

There's so many things I would hate to do. I would hate to get: divorced, pick who lives and who dies, put a pet to sleep, sell my childhood home. 

But the one thing I would hate to have to do is "pull the plug" on my parents. 

I love my parents too much to even think about them being on their death bed. I know, as I've come to learn recently, that death is inevitable. It can come at any time for any of us. Yet, I think it would be a harder pill to swallow if I had to slowly watch either of my parents die. 

My dad has never expressed his feelings on the subject. My mom, on the other hand always reminds Piggy and me that if she were ever to be on life support, and there was no hope for recovery, that we should pull the plug as soon as possible. 

I can see where she's coming from. Why keep someone alive if they can't get better? It's unfair to them. We're prolonging their suffering. (I'm beginning to sound like my mom here). 

Though, I know someday, they're both going to kick the bucket... I hope that my siblings and I don't have to decided to take our parents off of life support. I know I would not be able to decide if it's right or not - even though it's really not up to me. 

Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself .