(17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
The God Delusion.
I read Richard Dawkins' The Selfish Gene in college. I thought he was an awesome writer. The God Delusion came out during my freshman year in college, and I was given an optional assignment to read a chapter out of the book and write a response for one of my Geology classes.
I read the chapter, but decided to skip the response. I figured I was doing well enough in that class to not have to do something optional.
That summer, I bought the book. I think I was the only person at Borders under the age of 35 buying it. I don't know what that says about me, or what that says about my age group.
I started reading it... didn't finish it.
I started reading it again... could not finish it.
I started reading it one more time... got in a little further.
I was raised Catholic. For a long time, I was Catholic. I don't know if I'm Catholic anymore.
Reading this book, I began to question my beliefs on religion.
Why are we (my family) Catholic? Because the Spanish raped and pillaged and made the Aztecs worship their God by destroying their temples and building Catholic churches over said temples.
Was I Catholic because I wanted to be Catholic? Well, maybe I was Catholic when I decided to get Confirmed, and if I chose to be Confirmed, it means at some point I wanted to be Catholic. Maybe I'm not Catholic anymore because some priests touch little boys inappropriately and I think that is wrong. Or because I'm scared to get judged by someone who may or may not exist.
Was I Catholic because everyone else in my family is Catholic? Most likely. Just to keep tradition?
2006/07 was a shitty time in my life. This was a time in my life where maybe I could have used some counsel from The Big Guy Upstairs. I'd often think to myself If God and Jesus love me so much, why are they letting bad things happen to me? And then some asshole would say "oh, God never gives you anything you can't handle"... yeah bitch, that's why I'm crying my eyes out for 48 hours straight, because I'm so in control.
When things looked better, I still felt as alone.
My friend sent me a letter, and along with the letter was one of those little inspiration cards they sell at flower shops. She sent me the Foot Prints in the Sand one. I ate it up. Yeah, that was a shitty year and a half and Jesus carried me. And he helped me see the light and it was all rainbows and sunshine.
Bull-fucking-shit.
I'm supposed to believe someone just carried me until times were better? Yeah, no.
Am I not strong enough to help myself through rough times? Because as I recall... Jesus wasn't doing my homework. God wasn't writing letters of re-admittance, and the Holy Spirit wasn't standing up for me when I would fight with my dad about the situation I was in.
Do I think religion in general causes more harm than good? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that when I think of religion, I feel very lied to.
Thirty Days of Truth The God Delusion.
I read Richard Dawkins' The Selfish Gene in college. I thought he was an awesome writer. The God Delusion came out during my freshman year in college, and I was given an optional assignment to read a chapter out of the book and write a response for one of my Geology classes.
I read the chapter, but decided to skip the response. I figured I was doing well enough in that class to not have to do something optional.
That summer, I bought the book. I think I was the only person at Borders under the age of 35 buying it. I don't know what that says about me, or what that says about my age group.
I started reading it... didn't finish it.
I started reading it again... could not finish it.
I started reading it one more time... got in a little further.
I was raised Catholic. For a long time, I was Catholic. I don't know if I'm Catholic anymore.
Reading this book, I began to question my beliefs on religion.
Why are we (my family) Catholic? Because the Spanish raped and pillaged and made the Aztecs worship their God by destroying their temples and building Catholic churches over said temples.
Was I Catholic because I wanted to be Catholic? Well, maybe I was Catholic when I decided to get Confirmed, and if I chose to be Confirmed, it means at some point I wanted to be Catholic. Maybe I'm not Catholic anymore because some priests touch little boys inappropriately and I think that is wrong. Or because I'm scared to get judged by someone who may or may not exist.
Was I Catholic because everyone else in my family is Catholic? Most likely. Just to keep tradition?
2006/07 was a shitty time in my life. This was a time in my life where maybe I could have used some counsel from The Big Guy Upstairs. I'd often think to myself If God and Jesus love me so much, why are they letting bad things happen to me? And then some asshole would say "oh, God never gives you anything you can't handle"... yeah bitch, that's why I'm crying my eyes out for 48 hours straight, because I'm so in control.
When things looked better, I still felt as alone.
My friend sent me a letter, and along with the letter was one of those little inspiration cards they sell at flower shops. She sent me the Foot Prints in the Sand one. I ate it up. Yeah, that was a shitty year and a half and Jesus carried me. And he helped me see the light and it was all rainbows and sunshine.
Bull-fucking-shit.
I'm supposed to believe someone just carried me until times were better? Yeah, no.
Am I not strong enough to help myself through rough times? Because as I recall... Jesus wasn't doing my homework. God wasn't writing letters of re-admittance, and the Holy Spirit wasn't standing up for me when I would fight with my dad about the situation I was in.
Do I think religion in general causes more harm than good? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that when I think of religion, I feel very lied to.
1 comments:
This is one of the best things I've read on your blog. :) I feel the same way a lot of the time. Shouldn't I be solving my problems myself rather than waiting around for God to fix them?
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