Procrastination, again.
I have this biology test I should really be studying for. But I don't really feel like it. I don't know why. I just want to sleep all day tomorrow. But I know if I don't cram tomorrow, I won't stand a chance. But I also don't want to waste my day studying.
I'd rather just sit at Starbucks surfing the internet rather than study for this stupid test.
******
Plus day 9 of 30 days of truth
9) Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted
I've written about her before. My [old] friend Rocio. She was one of my best friends ever. Back then, I could not imagine my life without her. We were inseparable. We did everything together. And when we ended up going to different high schools, I thought that'd we'd still be friends like always. Well, it stayed true for two years. Then she was sent off to Mexico for a year. And that's when it began.
Fucking Mexico.
When she came back at the beginning of my Senior year, it wasn't the same. It was too different. I was too different. I had been through so much, so much that she didn't know because I didn't tell her, so much she didn't know because she didn't bother to ask. She started dating this girl, and she didn't like me.
Then I moved to college.
I tried to maintain our friendship. I even wrote letters. But, shit happens. And we're no longer friends. I hate it sometimes. She lives a block away from me. I see her family all the time. But, I'm not going to work towards fixing a relationship if it's not being reciprocated.
Things happen for a reason. I wish she were still my friend. She knew me better than I knew myself.
Thirty Days of Truth (1) Something you hate about yourself. (2)Something you love about yourself. (3) Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5) Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7) Someone who has made your life worth living for. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10) Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11) Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16) Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19) What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? (20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. (23) Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) (25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? (29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself .
4 comments:
It does really suck when you lose a best friend as time goes by. Me and my best friend don't see each other too often because we're so busy. : (
All of the people I put in the best friend category have lived in different cities from me for at least 10 years. We don't talk on the phone all that often, maybe once, twice a month, but we still hold that place in our hearts. If she came back dating a girl she must of had a life changing time in Mexico too. Maybe she was waiting for you to ask. But geeze, you were both kids then!
Dude, maybe I'm just a romantic but it's been so long. Maybe you should just try and hang out with her one more time. Put those years behind you and really try.
SN: Biology? Nice. You just went up three notches in my smart, sassy lily column. Get your study on!
This is how I feel with Nug in chat. I've changed so much in the past couple of weeks, I'm not sure what I can still say to her if she ever comes back on.
I love Biology. I know that makes a dork, but I can't help it. :(
I agree with Erin. At least if you try to mend things, you'll always know that you tried and you did all that you could and that the possibility was explored.
This all made me very grateful for my best friend, who lives just a few minutes away. :)
Lor
Post a Comment