4, Sometimes 5, Reasons a Guy Chases an Ex

There a very few people who's opinions really matter to me. Most of them are my best friends, and some family members. One of my friends' opinions on guys, for some reason, really matters to me. Upon telling him that my boyfriend and I got back together, he had some interesting things to say. Most of them can be summed up in the list of reasons he gave me that guys chase their ex's. This is an excerpt from our Yahoo Messenger chat from a couple of weeks ago:

5:55:42 PM fred: normally a guy whom chases an ex girl is for 4 main reasons

5:59:56 PM fred: 1... he cheated on you... and hes had his fill of fun....2 he cant get any other girl too look at him for whatever unknown reason maybe for reasons u dont know.... 3 he was fed up of being alone and came back where he knew it was safe or 4 he just want too get regularly laid... and i know i said 4 but maybe 5 if he did or still does truley love you... but number 5 if few and far between sorry  if i made u mad

6:00:24 PM Lily: not at all

6:02:28 PM fred: they are all the main reasons a man will beg an ex too go back with them

6:02:58 PM fred: i have never dated an ex once

6:03:14 PM fred: after we split

 **************

Reason 1: He cheated on you. 

     Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not really sure. We started our on/off relationship the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in high school. We hardly saw each other which made staying in a relationship extremely difficult. So he might have, he might have not. 

Reason 2: He can't get any other girl to look at him. 

     I'm not sure if he meant because he's not good looking or what. But, he turns heads. All kinds of girls like him. Even one of his girl friends likes him. I strongly believe he can get any girl he wants. 

Reason 3: He was fed up being alone. 

     A 24, going on 25 year old fed up of being alone. I can see it. 

Reason 4: He wants to get laid regularly.

     For a while, I did believe that this was the reason we always ended up back together. I made it clear at the beginning of this turn that if that was what he wanted he could go somewhere else because I wanted something more serious a long the lines of: 

Me: If we get back together, I want to have something serious, more stable. I want it to lead somewhere.

BF: Some where like what? Marriage?

Me: Not necessarily. I just don't want you to call me when you need some. 

When we were in high school, I often felt pressured to sleep with him. I did it because I believed I loved him and I didn't know when I would see him again because we lived on opposite sides of the city and went to different high schools. Three years of this messed me up emotionally. Every guy I dated between  our break ups, I'd compare to him. No one came close to making me feel the way he did. Only one person came close.

Reason 5: He still loves you.  

     I was getting ready for school one day and got a text message that read: 

            "I don't know if this is Lily's number, but if it is, it's me Ivan". 

Knowing many people by the same name, I was confused and asked:

            "Ivan who?" 

            "Your ex-boyfriend Ivan"

Thankfully, that narrowed it down. Texting slowly turned into talking on the phone hours on end, just like when we first met. Our conversations were mostly him apologizing for ever hurting me, making me feel bad, and breaking up with me at inconvenient times (like when I moved away to college and he waited to dump me while I was away and did it over the phone). I cried. I never had an ex apologize for stuff he had done. Ever. He ended with "I never stopped loving you". I brushed it off thinking it was just another line. 

So far, he's proven he hasn't.